Aantares    Aantares BB  Hop To Forum Categories  Your Etc. Forums  Hop To Forums  Social Hour: Chit-chat 'bout this 'n that    Recycled Stuff 2018
      Page: 1 ... 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
Go To
Post
Search BB
Notify Me
TOS/Tools/Smilies
Reply
  
Recycled Stuff 2018
 Login/Register
 
Enthusiast...
Picture of Allan
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Henry J:
Subject: English?
This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave.
It was passed on by a linguist, the original author unknown. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.

I have had enough, Henry J, watching you plough through my English language. Your rough approach brought on my cough, though this did stop my hiccough. Rough justice, though, I will have to put you on furlough, maybe even throw you off a clough into a lough near my borough.

If I had the dough I would put you through a thorough test, placing you in a trough and beating you over the head with a bough.

Although, if you have a pack of cards, we could just play Yarborough while eating sourdough.

Talking about sourdough, if you are into baking you will understand you need to knead the bread dough. Otherwise, in my eyes, that can be rough stuff.

I pray no one thinks I want to prey on Henry J.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The people's flag is deepest red It shrouded oft our martyred dead
...Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer We'll keep the red flag flying here
 
Posts: 2523 | Location: Queensland, Australia | Mbr Since: 05-05-2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
posted Hide Post
Smile-Big   :D
 
Posts: 9451 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
posted Hide Post
*****

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor is there ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible

PS Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

*****
 
Posts: 9451 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
Picture of Reed N D Dark
posted Hide Post
The Aussie is going to get you for that!

Besides most languages deriving from others should the UK blame the Ango Saxons?

My take is what you’ve pointed out may even be regional!
 
Posts: 9240 | Location: Central PA | Mbr Since: 05-14-2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
posted Hide Post
Yep, I reckon some of it could be regional. But then again, what is widespread now was most likely regional that spread widely.
 
Posts: 9451 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
Picture of Reed N D Dark
posted Hide Post
The regions I had in mind were the uk and the us.
 
Posts: 9240 | Location: Central PA | Mbr Since: 05-14-2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
posted Hide Post
Oh, yeah - two countries separated by a common language.
 
Posts: 9451 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
posted Hide Post
*****
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

*****
There's only one me, and I'm stuck with him.

Robert L. Stanfield

*****
There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

*****
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.

Winston Churchill, Sir (1874-1965)

*****
eschew obfuscation!

*****
 
Posts: 9451 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
posted Hide Post
From someplace on internet:

-------------------------------

My favorite Turkey recipe

a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing ingredient -- imagine that.

8 - 15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good)
1 cup un-popped popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT IS BEST)
Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.
Place in baking pan making sure the neck end is toward the front of the oven, not the back.

After about 4 hours listen for the popping sounds.
When the turkey's rear end blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room,.... it's done.

*****

(Warning: Do not try this at home! )

==============
 
Posts: 9451 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
posted Hide Post
Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving.

I'm telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've made a few small changes:

Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.

Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead it will be a decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey.

We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds.

As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate room. Next door.

Now I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress "private," meaning, do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.

Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice: take it or leave it.

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably won't come next year either.

I am thankful.

==============
 
Posts: 9451 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
posted Hide Post
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. [But at least it doesn't lead to the dark side!]

Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding. [Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder?]

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. [As long as they don't wear capes]

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. [SQUEAK!]

I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week. [Cheeping is for the birds]
 
Posts: 9451 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Enthusiast...
Picture of Allan
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Reed N D Dark:
The Aussie is going to get you for that!


It is the Scottish bud
in my blood
which determines my nationhood.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The people's flag is deepest red It shrouded oft our martyred dead
...Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer We'll keep the red flag flying here
 
Posts: 2523 | Location: Queensland, Australia | Mbr Since: 05-05-2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
Picture of Reed N D Dark
posted Hide Post
That too!

It is the newspaper in you that seems to note the language problems.
 
Posts: 9240 | Location: Central PA | Mbr Since: 05-14-2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Enthusiast...
Picture of Allan
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Reed N D Dark:
It is the newspaper in you that seems to note the language problems.

Often wonder how today's Christians understand:

There is a green hill far away
without a city wall.

Within and without.

Some years back I worked with a newly arrived Scottish coach. While I have seen it in text, he is the only person I met who used the word outwith, which is seen as educated Scots.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The people's flag is deepest red It shrouded oft our martyred dead
...Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer We'll keep the red flag flying here
 
Posts: 2523 | Location: Queensland, Australia | Mbr Since: 05-05-2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
Picture of Reed N D Dark
posted Hide Post
Haven’t consider it until now and that’s really the English really.

Ones first reaction is aren’t most hills without walls? Being that you most likely talking about a translation, I’d think they’d have known hills don’t have walls, much less city wall. Wouldn’t that make them a city? LOL!   :lol:
 
Posts: 9240 | Location: Central PA | Mbr Since: 05-14-2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Enthusiast...
Picture of Allan
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Reed N D Dark:
Ones first reaction is aren’t most hills without walls? Being that you most likely talking about a translation, I’d think they’d have known hills don’t have walls, much less city wall. Wouldn’t that make them a city? LOL!   :lol:


No translation:

Cecil Frances Alexander (April 1818 – 12 October 1895) was an Anglo-Irish hymnwriter and poet. Amongst other works, she wrote "All Things Bright and Beautiful", "There Is a Green Hill Far Away" and the Christmas carol "Once in Royal David's City." wiki


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The people's flag is deepest red It shrouded oft our martyred dead
...Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer We'll keep the red flag flying here
 
Posts: 2523 | Location: Queensland, Australia | Mbr Since: 05-05-2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
Picture of Reed N D Dark
posted Hide Post
Okay, I thought you had a description from psalms or something. I’ve heard first song, maybe the second. Not the third. A preChristmas song I learned fairly late was There’s a voice in the wilderness Calling ... carols are technical sung after Christmas! Except in malls!
 
Posts: 9240 | Location: Central PA | Mbr Since: 05-14-2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
posted Hide Post
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stewpidity.
 
Posts: 9451 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
posted Hide Post
oops
 
Posts: 9451 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
posted Hide Post
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. [But did she win the lottery?]

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. [Not me; I tend to drive slow]

I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy. [What's for dinner? Leftover turkey?]

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? [Cause she wouldn't be popular without them? Besides, they are her Ken folk.]

If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough! [Don't rock the boat?]
 
Posts: 9451 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
Picture of Reed N D Dark
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Henry J:
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stewpidity.


Amen!
 
Posts: 9240 | Location: Central PA | Mbr Since: 05-14-2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
posted Hide Post
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb! [Too late?]

Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States. [So live in one of the other 13?]

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. [But watch out for that uncertainty principle.]

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. [And they out-mass and outnumber us.]

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. [Or in England or Australia?]
 
Posts: 9451 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
posted Hide Post
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. [But in software engineering, lazy is a virtue.]

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence? ["Beer bad" - Xander Harris, while working as a bartender.]

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. [Error... Error... Error...]

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. [Then they look for vacation from it?]

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. [They want to take a nap?]
 
Posts: 9451 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
posted Hide Post
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. [Out of my mind. Be back in 5 minutes.]

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. [But let's see what develops.]

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! [To hair is human.]

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? [It stays blue; those things are plastic, anyway.]

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? [That sounds like a Major Problem.]
 
Posts: 9451 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
Picture of Reed N D Dark
posted Hide Post
My smurf is a stuffy! I got him before I knew who they were!

As for pets, I want a toy Oto. The regular Otos are just too big!
 
Posts: 9240 | Location: Central PA | Mbr Since: 05-14-2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
  Powered by Social Strata       Page: 1 ... 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 
 

    Aantares    Aantares BB  Hop To Forum Categories  Your Etc. Forums  Hop To Forums  Social Hour: Chit-chat 'bout this 'n that    Recycled Stuff 2018

© 2003-2020 Aantares Online LLC. All Rights Reserved.