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Dear Abby - My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.

(If only some people suffer from insanity, do the rest enjoy it?)
 
Posts: 10110 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Dear Abby - My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she is going through mental pause.

(Let us put that one on pause.)
 
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Dear Abby - You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband has lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

(Get a second opinion?)
 
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Dear Abby - I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't even know he drank until one night he came home sober.

(But at least beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... )
 
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Why can't pirates recite the alphabet?
The always get lost at C.
 
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Neutrinos have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
 
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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
 
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I had amnesia once -- maybe twice (I forget).
 
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I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
 
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All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.
 
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They told me I was gullible.... and I believed them.
 
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What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
 
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Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
 
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A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. [But a TV remote can do the same job.]
 
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When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail. [But keep your thumb out of the way.]
 
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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
 
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Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
 
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Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
 
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When elephants are hot, they flap their ears to cool off.

It's called ear conditioning.
 
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Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
 
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On tonight's funniest video show: don't feed your mask to the animals.

In one clip, a goat eats a woman's mask.

In next clip, a giraffe eats a man's mask.

LOL!   :lol:
 
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What if there were no hypothetical questions?
 
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One nice thing about egotists... they don't talk about other people.
 
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The speed of time is one second per second.
 
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What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
 
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