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Devoted... |
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The Little Angel on the Top of the Christmas Tree! One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit; this stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out at heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffeepot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made of. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it? Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the tree. Author Unknown ================================================== |
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Enthusiast... |
Henry, thanks.
Yeah, we all have those kind of days. Christmas is definately a stressful time of year. And then there is always the problem of still paying on the credit cards for the Christmas expenses in June. Kind of interesting that it has nothing particularly to do with Jesus Christ. It is simply four days past the Winter Solstice. Back when, their instruments were not all that good and it took four days to determine that the days had stopped getting shorter. So at that point there was a week of partying following the start of the New Year. Christmas ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Glenn |
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Devoted... |
*****
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen - had to be a girl. We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost. ***** Henry |
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Devoted... |
*****
What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney? Santa Claus-trophbia What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? Sandy Claws The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus He doesn't believe in Santa Claus He is Santa Claus Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him What can Santa give away and still keep? A cold Why do giraffes get Christmas gifts every year? They are so good that they'll stick their necks out for anyone Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log What do elves learn in school? The Elf-abet! What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Because every buck is dear to him What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad! ***** Henry |
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I was cleaning up after a late breakfast this morning when I heard a knocking at my door. The visitors were two plumpish elves, one black, one white, but otherwise idential, disguised as older ladies, who said they would like to share a reading from the Scripture with me.
I was sorely tempted, because they really were adorable, but I only thanked them kindly and sent on their way. My mistake, I think, because it would have been more fun to talk with them than was finishing the dishes. Seán |
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Enthusiast... |
Sean,
Now maybe they were angels in disguise. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Glenn |
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Forum Host![]() |
Glenn,
Definitely not angels. I know an elf when I see one. Seán |
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Devoted... |
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The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances." During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up." At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner." And that is how the substitute became the regular organist! ************************************************ |
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