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Originally posted by JohnT:

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Originally posted by Zoot House:
Lighten up, John. The original post was satire and meant to illuminate the pervs here that are so taken with this story. Sorry that you were offended, but there's not one iota of stereotypical racist intent in my post.

Lighten up. My comments were not directed at you.
I am merely of the opinion that we all react in ways we are not always conscious of.
And that includes myself.

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"There is almost artistic vulgarity in Gingrich's unrepented role as a hired larynx for interests profiting from such government follies as ethanol and cheap mortgages" -- George Will

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Tiger Woods checked into a new clinic in Arizona Monday. He went to a rehab in Mississippi to treat his sex addiction, then to Arizona to deal with his prescription drug use. After that he goes to New York City where his next apology opens off-Broadway.

Comedian Argus Hamilton

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Looks like I reeled in a trifecta of liberals.

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TMZ says there is a porn flick being made that is called Tiger's Wood.

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Tiger Woods allegedly paid his first publicly revealed mistress, Rachel Uchitel, $10 million to prevent her from speaking to the press, entertainment website TMZ reported Thursday.

There were numerous reports that Uchitel settled with Tiger for anywhere between $2 million and $5 million last December before canceling a highly anticipated news conference arranged with the help of celebrity power-attorney Gloria Allred.

But sources told TMZ that Tiger negotiated a payout closer to $10 million in return for a confidentiality agreement.

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Originally posted by Florida Righty:
TMZ says there is a porn flick being made that is called Tiger's Wood.

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People were surprised that Tiger Woods came in 4th place at the Masters. Tiger said his back swing wasn’t working. After the past year, I’m surprised his back was working at all.

Jay Leno

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This Friday is the deadline for mailing in your Census form. People all around the country put down how many people live in their houses — while Tiger Woods and Jesse James put "kind of a tricky situation right now."


Jimmy Fallon

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Originally posted by Harpy Bane:
I see what you mean, Zoot.

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"There is almost artistic vulgarity in Gingrich's unrepented role as a hired larynx for interests profiting from such government follies as ethanol and cheap mortgages" -- George Will

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Tiger Woods' wife Elin Nordegren left him in Florida Tuesday and flew home to Sweden accompanied by their kids. How angry is she? A lot of women get mad enough to go home to their mothers, but how many will fly through volcanic ash to get there?


Comedian Argus Hamilton

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AN anchor on America's Golf Channel made an embarrassing slip when referring to Tiger Woods' withdrawal from The Players Championship in Florida yesterday.

Woods, who was playing in his third tournament since returning from his self-imposed sex scandal exile that lasted nearly five months, blamed a bulging disk in his upper back for his decision to pull out of the $9.5 million tournament.

But while reporting on the withdrawal of Woods, the female anchor instead blamed a "bulging d**k."

"He has been playing with a neck injury for about a month and thinks it could be a bulging d**k, disc, in his upper back," she can be heard saying in the clip.

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Tiger Woods’ swing coach announced that he is quitting. Apparently he discovered that Tiger had 19 other swing coaches around the country.

The swing coach quit by text message, which is like karma shooting a hole-in-one.


Jimmy Kimmel

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Tiger Woods flew home to Florida to treat his neck injury Monday. He can't drive, he can't putt, his neck's killing him, his wife's divorcing him and his swing coach has quit. His recovery from sexual addiction is the biggest flop since New Coke.


Comedian Argus Hamilton

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The London Sun said Monday that Elin Nordegren will get seven hundred and fifty million dollars in her divorce from Tiger Woods. At last he can get back to golf. He's just hired a new swing coach who will teach him how to hit delete on his iPhone.

Comedian Argus Hamilton

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At the British Open, Tiger Woods will be playing with a new putter for the first time in 11 years. If I were him, I'd keep that a secret. You don't want to go around announcing you stuck with a putter longer than you stuck with a wife.


Jimmy Fallon

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EA Sports said Monday the sales of this year's Tiger Woods PGA Tour video game have fallen seventy percent compared to last year's Tiger Woods video game sales. There's just something unsavory about it. Nobody likes putting a condom on a joy stick.



Comedian Argus Hamilton