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Chronic...
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Driving our family to a new restaurant, I took several wrong turns. When I finally found the right road, I asked my husband, "Why didn't you tell me I was lost?"

"I thought you knew where you were going," he replied. "You always know where you're going when I'm driving."

*****
 
Posts: 9974 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
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The Riddle of the Day:

What kind of beat do mathematicians like to dance to?

Logarithms.
 
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Chronic...
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Pun of the Day:

A thief who stole cutlery without leaving a clue was called the stainless stealer.
 
Posts: 9974 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Never goes away...
Picture of Reed N D Dark
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Did it happen in Pittsburg?
 
Posts: 12689 | Location: Central PA | Mbr Since: 05-14-2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
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Dunno. Somebody will have to iron out that question.
 
Posts: 9974 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Never goes away...
Picture of Reed N D Dark
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I thought for sure you’d recognize the Steelers!
 
Posts: 12689 | Location: Central PA | Mbr Since: 05-14-2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
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Oh. Guess I fumbled that reference. Smile   :)
 
Posts: 9974 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Reed N D Dark
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Now you got it!
 
Posts: 12689 | Location: Central PA | Mbr Since: 05-14-2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
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But what if I didn't want it? Smile   :)
 
Posts: 9974 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Never goes away...
Picture of Reed N D Dark
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Punt?
 
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Chronic...
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Take me out of the ball game...

Smile-Big   :D
 
Posts: 9974 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
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Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie.

[At least they didn't cross the road like those chickens!]
 
Posts: 9974 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
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Income Tax: Capital punishment.
 
Posts: 9974 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
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A used car is not always what it's jacked up to be.
 
Posts: 9974 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
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To my sweetheart: My cooking's gotten better since I fondue.

[Ah, so the sweetheart won't want to split?]

*****
 
Posts: 9974 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
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Hangover: The wrath of grapes.

[And here I thought it was when the blanket was too big for the bed!]
 
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Chronic...
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Middle Age: When actions creak louder than words.

[WD40?]
 
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Chronic...
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You can observe a lot by just watching. We made too many wrong mistakes.

Yogi Berra
 
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Chronic...
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You only make mistakes if you're doing real work and getting things done.

Anonymous

(I thought I made a mistake once - but it turned out I was in error.)
 
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Never goes away...
Picture of Reed N D Dark
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To err ids human, to forgive is not company policy
 
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Chronic...
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That would depend on what company one keeps! Smile-Big   :D
 
Posts: 9974 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
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Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . become Pen Pals?

(Right! Write! )
 
Posts: 9974 | Location: Colorado | Mbr Since: 10-17-2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Chronic...
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A robber broke into the police station and stole all the toilet seats: the police didn't have anything to go on.

(Just don't put the squeeze on the Charmin! )
 
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Chronic...
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When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers, it's research.

Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)
 
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Chronic...
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A certain man was infatuated with a young woman, but was so timid he never had the courage to speak to her. In fact, he told his therapist that every time he got near her he felt like nothing more than a tiny pebble.

"Well," his therapist responded, "if you want to get the girl you'll just have to be a little boulder!"

[But what if he's not good at rock science? ]
 
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